Today’s catch phrase is:
Forgive when there’s no “I’m sorry.”
Truly in ministry {or life in general, for that matter}, if we wait to hear “I’m sorry” then we would never forgive.
Perhaps this is one of those things that I wish I had known when we first began in ministry. Hurtful things are said and done, and many times people go on as if nothing happened. Were it not for the grace of God, forgiving and moving on would be nearly impossible.
Forgiveness is a spiritual muscle that must be exercised. Does it get easier over time? Yes and no. It gets easier in the sense of knowing the process of forgiving and being able to discipline yourself to put it into practice. But the pain never gets easier to take, and it never seems to get any easier to understand how professing believers could act in such a way.
However, we each have our own personal responsibility, regardless of what is said or done. We must forgive. It is extremely hard to minister if you have a heart full of resentment and bitterness toward people! So how does one keep a free heart?
*Make the choice to forgive. There have been times when I prayed through gritted teeth and tears of grief, “God, I WILL forgive that person.” To make this choice is to surrender to God’s will for me. It is a choice not based on feelings, but based on obedience.
*Accept and acknowledge God’s grace to do the forgiving. Did you know that forgiveness is a work of God? Once we make that choice to forgive, God steps in and begins a work of grace and healing. Friend, it’s a beautiful work! He begins to sooth and comfort with the loving balm of mercy. And although some things may never be forgotten, He lessens the sting and sometimes even fades the details of the situation. I have seen God do this in my own life many times over. He settles the heart and and whispers peace. He blesses obedience.
*Realize that you don’t have the right to NOT forgive. Early in our ministry days, a pastor’s wife gave me a valuable piece of advice that has stuck with me over the years. She said, “God loves that person just as much as He loves me. Therefore, I don’t have the right to treat them differently than God would.” The offending person- this is a person who God loves dearly. I am compelled to forgive them because of God’s love.
“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Mark 11:25
Are you waiting for someone {or several someones} to ask for forgiveness? Stop waiting and obey God.
God will free your heart and will bless you in ways that you can’t even imagine right now. He will help you pick up the pieces of your broken heart and strengthen you to go on ministering to your flock. Apply this principle to past, present, and future hurts:
Forgive when there’s no “I’m sorry.”
Let’s Chat: Do you find it hard to forgive when there’s no ‘I’m sorry?’ How has God given you victory in the area of forgiveness? If you’d like to comment in privacy, feel free to message me.
hmmmm very good reminder! I have always said when speaking of ministry……they will love deeply and cut you deeper. Oh how God has had to teach this to me. A great passage of scripture that God has taught me this very principle…
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
4 Things I do….. Love, Bless, do good & most of all pray! My church family is not my enemy, although I have felt the stinging pain of some who have said and done some pretty hurtful things.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a champion by no means in this area, but the Lord constantly tugs at my heart to apply this very precious verse.
Thank you again for another encouraging post!!!
Laurie, I’m no champion either! But God has given our family lots of practice in this area. You are right that the church family is not the enemy, although at times it feels that way. People will say and do a lot of things when they are hurting and/or aren’t right with God. We just have to focus on our own response and let God work. It’s amazing how, if we respond the right way, we end up being so blessed by God even though we were hurt. And the ones who did the hurting are often miserable. It all depends on how we handle it. I’m so thankful for God’s supernatural works of grace in our hearts! Thank you for sharing your heart.
Leah,
Thank you so much for the reminder of how we are expect by God to forgive others. We have moved my mother-in-law in with us 7 years ago. She is a VERY bitter and angry person. She says and does very unkind things. I am always getting hurt by her words and actions. But am expected to keep taking care of her. It is very hard. But thank you for the reminder that it is my “job” to forgive her always. We did what we needed to do and what we felt the Lord wanted us to do. So it is up to me to forgive her and show her God’s saving Grace. She claims to be saved …. but has not shown any signs of salvation. Again THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Elaine
Elaine, I’m so sorry about the hurtful situation that you are in! It is really hard when situations go on and on and there seems to be no end. You are forgiving moment by moment, but God’s grace is limitless and fresh every day. I have just prayed for you. ((hug))