Yes, I just admitted that. And yes, I’m a pastor’s wife…

A pastor’s wife who is coming to realize the possibility of a fundamental flaw with the term and even the basic action of “having daily devotions.” I grew up hearing {as you likely did} about how important it is to have devotions in the morning at the start of the day, when we need to orient ourselves to God’s will and love for us. I’m actually one of those who has faithfully done this over the years, whenever I was physically able. I’ve raised my hand every time when the preachers asked “How many of you have a daily time in the Word and in prayer?”

Yes. I do.

But…something has happened in Christianity over time that is disturbing me…

With a ritualistic daily devotion scenario, life becomes a world of ruts and day old musings and faith carried over and stale mercies and dried up soul Sabbath.

I haven’t always done it out of duty- genuine love for God has spurred my studies and has taken me so much deeper into my relationship with God than I could have imagined was possible {and much more to come- wow!} But there come times in life when daily devotions aren’t enough. That devotional study that I’m halfway through isn’t enough. Reading a passage and trying to squeeze the life out of it and into my heart…just isn’t enough.

And I wonder if we’ve done a disservice to new and struggling believers by advocating for them to have daily devotions. Why not say “Go to God whenever you need Him. And need Him often.”

Is this not truly living by every Word?

I’m giving up the daily approach for awhile in favour of the Psalmist’s thirsty, panting approach. These days my Bible, my journal, and a pen sit out on my couch all day. At night I take them up with me to bed. And multiple times a day I’m running to find God in His Word, and writing down the torrent of His breathings into my heart, making Him my true solace in this unpredictable life journey.

I can’t seem to make it more than an hour (sometimes less) without hearing from Him. I’m grateful that my schedule currently allows this running back and forth from sink to Bible, basement to journal, kitchen table to couch. And I’m so blessed with the richness of God’s Word- it just keeps giving, reassuring, challenging, washing over me with comfort. Reminders are prevalent of mercy and grace and love and care and personal thoughts- all in never ending supply.

I’m not getting as much housework done {it’s always there anyway.} I’m not reading all the wonderful books that I received at the Allume conference {there will be time for that later}.  I’m not sewing or crafting like I usually do when the weather turns cold {yes, it’s cold here already}.

And it’s okay. It’s more than okay. It is SO right for this season of life that I am in. So personal, so intentional and straight from my amazing Jehovah.

And I wonder….I wish…for life to be a little more like this for the rest of ever.

XOXO,

A Kindred Spirit