Hello friends! After four years of writing in this space, I took my website offline for two weeks in order to give it a much needed re-design. And I have to say- I would much rather be writing and chatting with you all than doing all the “techy” stuff! So, here I am, slipping back into my place- and I’m excited about the next steps that this ministry is taking. I hope you’ll snoop around and enjoy the new sections of this site, including Meet Our Team, Ministry Resources, and Sabbatical Info. Some sections, like Hope Conference and Sponsor a Pastor’s Wife are in preparation for the future and will remain somewhat under construction until we have full details to share. I am thrilled at what God is leading us into, and I can’t wait to share more with you as He unfolds it to us.
For now, in celebration of our re-launch and Embracing Grace’s 4th birthday, I’m having a giveaway of some fabulous books that have impacted me as a pastor’s wife. There are some very gracious and giving publishers in this world, and thanks to them, six of you will be getting brand new books in the mail! All you have to do to enter is leave a comment at the end of this post, telling me the best advice you’ve ever received as a pastor’s wife.
So, take a peek at *the books, and then leave your comment!
TWO of you will receive The Pastor’s Wife: Strengthened by Grace for a Life of Love, written by Gloria Furman. Gloria is a pastor’s wife in Dubai. She writes from halfway across the world, yet relates to the heart of every one of us. This little book is Christocentric, packed with Scripture, and sure to leave you encouraged. I’ll be giving away my review copy as well as a copy from the Publisher, Crossway Books.
TWO of you will be receiving One With A Shepherd: The Tears and Triumphs of a Ministry Marriage, a lovely book by Mary Somerville. It is biblical, practical, and personal, and loaded with a grace-filled perspective of marriage to a man in ministry. The publisher, Kress Christian Publications, is giving away two copies to my readers. This is a book that you definitely want to have in your library.
ONE of you will be receiving What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days: 52 Encouraging Truths to Hold On To, a delightful book by Holley Gerth. If you’ve read anything by Holley, you know that her words get right to the heart of where things are when life gets tough. She goes deep with you in your pain, and then offers solid hope in God. I am savouring this book while we are on sabbatical, and I’ve been awed daily at how it is speaking to exactly where I am. If you are processing grief or ministry trauma, this book will soothe your heart and give you hope.
ONE of you will be receiving Plucked From the Burning: Embracing God’s Purpose. I fall short of words to describe this book. I literally watered the pages with my tears as I read the story of this pastor who was the sole survivor of a plane crash. The book is packed with honest stories of a brutal recovery after receiving third degree burns and losing fingers, Scriptural lessons for life and ministry, and amazing testimonies of the survivor’s children and the widows of the men who died. If you’ve endured a medical tragedy, your heart will relate to the emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual journey that this couple endured. Ken and Beth Spilger wrote this book together. Those of you who are in Heart-to-Heart groups #7 and #9 will be excited to know that this is OUR Beth who leads your groups. She has graciously offered to give away a copy of the book to one of my readers.
I’m thrilled to offer these books to you, and I wish I could put them into the hands of every one of you! A girl can dream, eh? But for now it’s your turn to talk to me in the comments- your comment is your entry. Simply answer this question: What is the best advice you’ve ever been given as a pastor’s wife? {You may comment more than once with different snippets of advice in order to get more entries.}
Winners will be chosen and announced on Monday, September 14th. So get your entry in, share the giveaway with your PW friends, and add these books to your wish list!
XOXO,
A Kindred Spirit
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*This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a few pennies if you click through and order via these links.
The best advice I received as a pastor’s wife is to hold onto people with open hands. In other words, people are going to come and go from your life and you need to be okay with the fact that God often calls them to other things that are not part of your ministry. Other times people make poor choices that lead them away from you and it’s hard to let them go. So realize that you don’t “own” any of these people–they will come… and they will go. Be ready for that.
Another thought that I read in a book called “The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart” by Christine Hoover (highly recommended book!!!) is that we need to have thick skin but tender hearts. People will hurt us–unintentionally and sometimes intentionally–but we can’t let that stop us from loving people and allowing ourselves to get close to them.
I’ve received a lot of good advice so I’ll just keep going here. Our supervising pastor in our network likes to say that church would be easy if it wasn’t for the people. My previous two comments attest to that. Ministry puts you in a vulnerable position like few other jobs in the world. It’s more than a job–it’s your life. And it weaves itself into almost every aspect of your life. So when something goes awry it affects us deeply–especially us women. But obviously the irony that is unspoken here is that without people there IS no ministry and no church. Cover everything in prayer and make sure your heart is right with God because otherwise the burden will be way too great.
One final comment… this is simply a book recommendation because the advice contained in it is SO great that I cannot get into all of it. The jist of it, though, is that our pasts, our inner struggles, and our emotional health all greatly affect our ministry so we need to at least be aware of those things and ideally work through them and understand them. They won’t go away but we can’t let them secretly rule us either. The book is “The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World” by Peter Scazzero. It has been very helpful to my husband and me and I hope it might be helpful to someone else out there.
The best advice I’ve ever received in ministry, even before I was a pastor’s wife was “love the person in front of you well.” I’ve found praying often and specifically and individually for people helps so much! Jesus’ love for them just pours through me. Truly, the best advice for me, ever. I tend to get overwhelmed and want to run when I look at a group of people as a whole.
Be yourself!
Just be yourself, rather than trying to emulate some great pastor’s wife you knew. Let God use the uniqueness He gifted you with.
The best advice I ever received given to me as a pastor’s wife actually was two pieces of advice. One was from my beloved pastor’s wife and mentor, and she told me “The most important job of a pastor’s wife is to be the wife of the pastor.” Sounds so obvious but it is so true…only YOU can be his wife and helpmeet, and that is my most important ministry. The other piece of advice was from an older pastor’s wife who told me “It is more important what you are rather than what you do.” That has helped me so much – to always put my priority on my relationship with the Lord and not on my service with people.
Love people. People don’t want your help or advice until they first know that you love them. “People don’t care how much you know, unless they know how much you care.”
The best advice I received was to just be down to earth. People appreciate someone who can relate to them. They don’t want to feel inferior; they want to know you care!
The best ministry advice I have been given is to maintain a strong personal relationship with the Lord through prayer and studying the word of God.
Thank you Leah for your ministry. Some of the best advice I’ve been given: The way you treat your husband will be the way others perceive him. Never talk down to him, back talk him or an other ways be disrespectful to him. Others will see that and believe those things about him. It is your job (my job) to make him shine the brightest and be all he can be for God.
The best advice I received as a pastors wife is “to be yourself” that you can never be happy or fulfilled if you’re trying to be something that you are not.
Another piece of advice I received is to “after God your first ministry is to the home” meaning take care of your relationship with the Lord first, then your spouse and children. It helped me to learn to balance.
I’ve received very little advice in the 6 years that I have been a PW, but one that echoes in my ear is one that was told to my husband and I. A dear pastor said in a very bold statement to remember one thing……. God instituted the family and home first, and the church second. He wanted us to realize that our family came first, and without the family together, there would be no pastor for the church, and possibly no church. That has stuck in our heads for the past 6 years, and my husband and I make our family a huge priority in our lives. What good is it for my husband to stand behind a pulpit and preach Gods truths to a congregation if we lose our kids to the world, and lose our marriage to a divorce?
I think the best advice I have received is that your job is to be the pastor’s wife. Your primary ministry is to him not others in the church. Helping him may involve helping others — but just being his wife and encouraging him is most important. No one else can fill that role.
The best advice I have received actually came from a sermon that was given during my husband’s ordination ceremony. The pastor was preaching on how to serve and love the church. He likened it to a wedding, saying we, in the ministry, are like the best man of Christ. We are there to stand by His side as He marries his bride, the Church. In real life, it doesn’t matter what you think about the bride, you are supporting the groom. The same in ministry. It doesn’t matter who walks through the doors of your church. It doesn’t matter what they look like, what they say, how they behave. Christ loves them all, he sacrificed so he could redeem them and “marry” them. It is our job to stand there and support him. Love the church as he does.
This has helped me tremendously when having to deal with difficult people.
“You can’t do it all. Ask for help. “
Best advice ever:
1) pray with your husband every night before bed
2) never bring “church” stuff – talking about issues or people or whatever – into your bedroom – only invite God in
3) invite families to dinner in your home – they will see you are real
and one more – actually the most important
“It’s not about me – it is about Him.”
That I am not required to be at every church function. That my most important role is making sure that my husband has a sanctuary to come home to.
One of the greatest PW advice I’ve received is: Noone can love and pray for your pastor like his wife. (He needs both!)
His biggest cheerleader and prayer advocate. <3 <3
Best advise – Be yourself and meet people where they are and help them get to where God wants them to be.
Advice!! Didn’t finish my coffee yet this morning. 🙂
The best advice I’ve ever received as a pastor’s wife is “don’t follow your heart, follow the Lord”. Our hearts can lead us astray but the Lord never will.
The best advice I received as a pastor’s wife is that I am to be there for my husband and family first.
Have a thick skin, but don’t hold grudges or bitterness. People say mean things or make snide remarks about the decorations or how they would’ve done something differently. In ministry, and life in general, that is going to happen. The real test is your reaction and have grace. This is something I’m still learning 🙂
Anther piece of advice was never bad mouth your husband…ever…to anyone. Even if it is in a joking manner, it may still seem like dishonor. My husband and I joke around so much, and I have to learn to hold back. Most of the time he doesn’t mind, but I have learned what is appropriate and what’s not.
The last best advice I’ve been given was to leave home issues at home. No one needs to know what your kids did or how your husband left his clothes on the floor, etc. not that we need to lie and lift ourselves up better than we are, but we need keep some things private.
I almost laughed when I read the question, because in 15 years of ministry, I have received very little helpful encouragement in and for this position.
What I have received was, “Your home is your husband’s refuge, make it a place that he can come away to and find rest.”, that was from a book I read about hospitality.
I was told to be myself.
The best advice I was given is to be strong in the Lord. Be in His Word and pray without ceasing.. And to be yourself.
I was also told to be cautious when making friends within our church. A lot of people want to be a close friends to the pastor’s wife but not everyone can be.
Something a dear PW friend of mine told me was that I always need to be my hubby’s best supporter and encourager. How right she was! It makes all the difference in our ministry, marriage and family.
I would love to get these books…Love all EG encouraging words
The best advice I received as a new pastor’s wife was to “be yourself!” Having PW heroes is great, but trying to make yourself copy or imitate another pastor’s wife is only setting yourself up for failure!
The best tidbits of advice I received was be yourself. Remember that even when you don’t feel like you are making a difference God placed you at THIS church, at THIS time for HIS purpose and most important, my first job was, as it had been since I got married, to love and support my husband in any and every way I could.
I attended a Bible Study for women whose husbands were studying for the Ministry. We lived at the Seminary at the time. The main thing Mrs. Rosen told us is that the husband was hired by the church not me or the family. It is wonderful to help in any capacity I would like; but that my first priority is to my husband, home, and family.
Serve in the capacity the Lord convicts you to do. Have grace and love for all.
Some of the best advice I ever received as a pastor’s wife was: When feeling overwheed by ministry demands and unable to see what needs to go or feeling like each thing you are doing is just as important as the others. Pray and ask The Lord to take something away. I have done this a few times in my ministry and God always removes something to make my load a little lighter!
Don’t miss the blessing!
The best advice I received was from a pastor’s wife of over 40 years. She encouraged me to love not only the Lord with my whole heart, but love people that way too. Just like the Lord is patient, gracious, merciful, helpful, and forgiving to me, I need to be that way with the people that I serve. I’ve found that when I am loving people this way, ministry is truly joyful!
The best advice I have ever received came from my mother-in-law who is also a pastor’s wife: The ministry can be a very lonely place so find another pastor’s wife that you can be friends with. You can share things with her that you won’t be able to share with others because she understands.
Thank you for your ministry here, Leah, you have been a great encouragement to me!
The best advice I was ever given was actually from my friend Claudia Barba, whose Monday Morning Club book you gave away here. I love that dear lady so much! She took me out for coffee when my husband and I were just starting our church and told me, “There is no list of requirements for a pastor’s wife in the Bible, and that is for a reason.” Each pastor’s wife is uniquely gifted by God, so each of our ministries will look different! First and foremost, our ministry is to our husbands – to be the pastor’s WIFE! Minister to him, and then ask him how you can best help further his ministry. If that is teaching a Sunday school class or being his secretary or planning elaborate ladies’ ministries… Or staying home with the children and keeping the toilets clean and having hot meals ready on time. He is our top priority and what we should gauge our ministry on. That little truth has helped me tremendously to not compare myself to other pastor’s wives and know that I am exactly who God wants me to be and doing what He wants me to do as the pastor’s wife in my church!
Looking forward to checking out the books on your list, even if I don’t win one! 😉
When my husband was voted in as pastor, I was afraid of being a pastors wife. Through prayer, God prompted me to be friendly, love them and pray for them. Then I said, I can do that.
Hello Leah,
I’ve only been a Pastor’s Wife for a few years, but the best advice I have received is to be “myself”. I started this journey thinking I had to be like Sis. So and So and acting like Sis. got it all, but I know it wasn’t inside of me to act like someone else. I was setting my own self up for failure. I prayed and asked God to help me and he sent a friend to me who told me to just “be myself”. Don’t try to act like someone else. Your congregation wants a Pastor’s wife who is genuine, someone who doesn’t put on airs or thinks she is better than them. So as she said, I have been nothing but me and it has been the best advice I have received. Several of our members have told me that they appreciate me because I just am who I am!
Best advice: To make a friend (kindred spirit) and stop listening to the old advice that we can’t have close friends. I did and it was the best thing I have ever done.
That we are here to serve and not be served.
One of the best but simplest advice I received was “stay humble”. It was repeated to me often. Staying humble is so important. As the Lord starts to use me in different ways and give me insight into situations that I know are not from myself, and as I believe He will continue to use me and His gifts flow and increase, remaining humble is a one of the keys. It’s not me, not my ability, not about me but all about Jesus!
Every 3 to 6 months make a way to get away with your family. It has to be God, Family, and then the ministry. If we lose our families we then lose our ministries. How sad it would be to reach the world but lose my own family in the process.
The best advice I have received to date is to just be myself. People respond to authenticity. And to be vulnerable with people even though it means I will be hurt. The only way to minister to people is by building relationship with them.
The best advice I’ve received this far was from my Pastors Wife. That my most important job is to be my husbands wife.
I haven’t received that much advice, but I was encouraged to be myself. The previous pastor’s wife was there for 30 years, and I think at least some of the congregation expected me to be a copy of her. The best advice comes from a God – only fear The Lord and serve him in truth with all your heart for consider how great things he hath done for you. 1 Samuel 12:24
No one ever told me what being the wife of a pastor was going to be like. I was told, “He’s a man, who needs to be loved like everyone else, he just has the ultimate employer!” As his wife, my first job and duty are to him. I keep him well, as much as he allows me, so that he can serve others, and in doing so he is serving me too, since he is also my shepherd. Yay me!
I was struggling sometime back with knowing how to “get it ALL done” in life and ministry and feeling overwhelmed and wanted to quit. Wisely one of my mentors told me it was good for me to share my weakness–to admit it–and to realize that many pastors wives are afraid to show they are struggling and think they have to have “it” altogether. She couldn’t solve my dilemma for me but she did point me back to the Bible and reliance on Jesus Christ for discernment. That, friends, was much needed and so Helpful to me!
Live striving to meet God’s expectations rather than man’s.
The best advice I received was from a ladies’ retreat speaker during one of her sessions. She said, “When somebody asks you for your opinion about something, give them the Word of God. Your opinion might change in five years, but the Word of God never will.”
1. Trust
2. Be your husband’s biggest cheerleader and supporter
3. Protect your children from getting a negative view of ministry in the hard times especially
4. TRUST (Need lots of eork on this one so it bears repeating)
Another Pastor’s wife told me to become friends with the wives of my husbands Pastor friends. They are the ones who will understand your heart, your hurts or fears etc. I have to say after only 1 year in ministry her advice is proving itself true!!
Thanks for hosting this giveaway! I haven’t been a pastor’s wife very long, but some of the best advice on life and ministry is to love and serve without expecting anything in return. Then you’re so pleasantly surprised when it is reciprocated but the good people God has sent your way.
“Ministry will always be there, your children won’t.” As a mom of 6 kids this is so important for me to remember as my kids are growing up so very fast.
The best advice have gotten is from a Forum I attended. Be your husband’s greatest supporter and critic also. To me it means don’t follow blindly. When he his doing something wrong not in your own perspective but by the word of God.pray about it and let God lead you to how you will tell him lovingly. But not in front of other people but as the holyspirit leads. My husband says it too at all times that when I see him going astray I should please caution him and vice versa.
The best advice I have heard was “You must decide if you are going to love…or never hurt.” Being in the ministry we all do a lot of loving…a lot of giving…with the hopes to bring people to Christ, to help them work through problems or recover from addiction. Being in the ministry, sometimes the love and giving and prayers…we don’t see the results or people just walk away. And your heart breaks. So we have to decide to love with all we are, even if there’s a chance of hurt.
I recently shared with my brother, who is a mission, a broken heart moment I had over a family I dearly love. I shared with him this quote, and gave me some wise above and encouragement. He ended his message to me “Whatever you do, get hurt.”
The best advice I have ever received is: “Smile a lot and keep your mouth shut.”
The best advice I ever received was from my father. He always said, there is good in everyone, sometimes you have to look harder for it in some. Always look for it no matter what you do.
My best advice has come from my husband after a controversial discussion occurred with some members leaving me feeling very upset at some of the personal remarks that were said – mainly against my husband. He said to me, “Fight the urge to react. Let’s pray about our response.” It’s always stuck with me as that seems to be the hardest thing to do when you’ve been deeply hurt by those whom you deeply trust.
#1 – Psalm 119:165 – “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”
#2 – “Churches are hospitals for sinners, not museum’s for saints”
From my mother-inlaw who has been a pastors wife for 30+ years…older women should be teaching younger women and younger women must be teachable. Each of us must walk in the Spirit for it to work together…
The best advice…you are a Christian first and then a Pastor’s wife.
“Some may step on your toes, others may step on your heart. Either way it hurts, but you will grow.” Both have happened and yes it still hurts. But as Jesus tells us, love and forgiveness go a long way.
To remember the Lord gave me to my husband to take care of him, our children and then the Church needs…to tend my own garden and in that order! Difficult to do but something which helped me so much.
The best advice I have gotten as a Pastor’s wife, don’t try to please everyone, you will never be able to so don’t try. Thank you for the give away!!
1 Dont take things too personal.
2. Pray for those who attack your family and show them love even when its hard to.
The best pastor’s advice I have ever been given was more of a quote but it impacted me greatly… “I would rather love the people with all my heart and end up with a heart full of holes than to hide away and not love at all.”
I see my answer has already been given, but it was to just be myself. Also, that my first ministry is to my husband and kids.
The best Pastor’s wife I have is to love your people, not for what they do for you, but because you want to serve Christ through serving others. Genuinely find ways to show love.
The best advice I received as a pastor’s wife was when we went to our first church one of the older minister’s in our denomination told us when we go there to be ourselves and not something that someone else will try to make us or else we would regret it later on in life.
The best advice I have received is that it is ok for me to have a voice and to speak up for myself if need be.
i would say the best advice I ever received was to be myself even in the midst of others expectations as the woman I was designed to be was designed by my Creator not by anyone else. I was told to allow the light within me to shine as if it was the Sun itself because the SON himself is shining through in the beauty of who I am today!
I have cherished these words and live by them in the confidence of who I am today. The Lord has shown me when I am myself that I truly reflect the beauty of Himself as the daughter He delights in most. I praise Him for showing me this many years ago and walk with confidence in Him today.
During our short time in the ministry, there had been many trials when we first began. My husband was attacked by a man and his friends at our first pastorate, then right after that, I was personally attacked by a lady and her family (which made up half of the church) in our second pastorate. After being hurt so deeply in two different places, I was ready to quit the ministry. After counseling with a couple of pw friends, they both shared the same thing… To forgive and continue to pray for and love, unconditionally. I didn’t think that I could do this, but with the Lord’s stength, I am now able to speak to anyone that I might come in contact with that has committed an act that hurt us or any of our ministries. I have had friends ask me, “How are you able to speak to them, after all they have done?” I simply reply with what my wise pw friends told me. It’s the only way that I can have peace. 😉
When my husband was called into ministry I went to the Sr. Pastors wife and asked her what was next. Was there a book she could recommend? A course of action? She told me “I had to figure it out on my own. I’m sure you can, too.”
So I did.
I found Lisa McKays book You Can Still Wear the Cute Shoes, and book after book, which led me to Facebook groups and support systems of other Pastors Wives who were more than willing to love me through my trials and rejoice with me in the good. We pray for each other and aren’t threatened by each other.
We left that church last year, and are now in a healthy church where God speaks and His love surrounds everyone who walks through the door. ❤️
If you a pastor’s wife in a team situation where there are several pastors, I think it is important to be a good teammate, remembering what a team is and that God has not made a mistake in placing you together. Work hard at being friends with the other wives, respecting each other’s differences while learning from each other, loving each other and praying for each other.
Energy spent otherwise is just useless. God uses the journey to accomplish his plans in us as we allow him, and we will be able to reach others better if we are who God has planned for us to be.
The best advise I have received is “to keep your relationships straight. God first, Husband second, kids third, ministry and everything else after those top three.”
At my husband’s ordination the preacher looked at me from the pulpit and said “Remember you are not your husbands assistant… you are his wife!”
I think another good piece of advice is to keep a close guard on your tongue. You can and should be yourself as a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t give you license to do whatever comes naturally. There is a difference between being real and being natural.
You won’t be perfect and you will make mistakes. But as time goes on, with, for sure, a few hard lessons learned, I know that I have seen the value of thinking before speaking. It’s just too impossible to get back what you shouldn’t have said.
Love your church family!
I know others have said this, but what has helped me most is remember I am the Pastor’s Wife, not the assistant pastor. My priority is taking care of him and the family, and whatever he needs me to do. Also learn to say No. Just no, you don’t have to give excuses. In fact, people will argue with reasons. If I can just say no, no guilt, I save myself a lot of hassles.
When I asked a pastor’s wife how she kept from getting bitter towards difficult people in the churchthis was her advice – keep looking and thanking the Lord for every good thing He has changed in the church, physical or spiriutual. As I began looking for His hand in the smallest details it turned my heart from bitterness to praise.
In my short time so far as a PW, I’ve learned that you need to search for truth in every criticism whether you think it’s true or not. Search for it, find something you can change, if needed, and then let it go.
The advice I was given is to pray, pray, pray. I pray for my husband of course, that God would inspire him to preach the words God wants him to. I pray for our congregation, for the church workers. My husband and I always pray together on Sunday morning for the service. I can’t imagine trying to do this without prayer. It’s vital, and the best advice I was ever given as a Pastor’s wife.
Thanks for your ministry to pastor’s wives. Faithfulnis he who call who also will do itPTL
God first and family second! My main purpose as a pastor’s wife is to provide a safe and loving haven for my family. One pastor’s wife put it this way, “I am the mulch in the garden of the our lives”. I provide the fertile place to put down roots. God supplies the rain for growth.
Best advice and easiest: love my husband/pastor! I am his biggest cheerleader. Believe in him. Sometimes loving him well may mean being honest with him about blind spots even if it is hard but it is always best. (2)) Be the mom to our children that points them to Jesus and His word. Protect them as much as possible from my own hurt and anger. I have a hard enough time getting over hurt, they may carry that hurt into adulthood. (3) Be who you are. You are the only you! No one else has what God has given you to be uniquely you. Be real, real speaks. (4) When you are hurt, disappointed, etc. don’t allow satan to lie to you, battle his lies with God’s truth. Rebuild the broken pieces and remember He will never waste a wound. He is faithful even when we aren’t.
The best advice I have received is to keep loving the people even though you might not receive love in return.
I don’t know exactly where I heard this, but I hung onto it.
“When you cannot love someone with your love, love them with the love of Jesus. ”
When I do that, eventually I am loving them with my love, too.
The best advice I received was to just be myself. I always struggled with not being talented and not having an outgoing personality. I thought that every missionary wife and pastor’s wife played the piano, sang, and was an extrovert. 🙂 I was told to just be the person God made me to be.
Here is another: People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Good evening. I’very had a tough time adjusting to being alone so much as a PW. Best advise I’ve received is to be myself, and keep God FIRST and at the center of everything.
Tell him the truth he needs to hear.
The best advice I received was super simple but profound…BE ME…the me God made me, not what everyone else expects me to be.
To me the best advice that gives the most longevity in ministry and the most joy in the day to day is to care about the heart of each individual the Lord brings your way. Be other centered, but not to the detriment of your personal relationship with Christ. We were made to be in relationship, run to Jesus like your life depends on it. Immerse yourself in the truth of His word, “eat” it like it is your daily food and sit in God the Father’s lap visually to allow His grace and love to heal your own wounded heart. Realize that all your own personal woundedness has a good purpose in giving you a compassionate heart to be able to love and comfort others with humility. Stay so close to Jesus that the enemy has no footing to level doubt and discouragement into your mind.
The best advice I have been given is don’t think you have to do everything – get others involved so they can also get a blessing and the pastor’s wife doesn’t burn out. God first – husband – family – church.
To be myself and not allow others to dictate what my job as a pastor’s wife should be. I am first a follower of Jesus and then a wife and mother.
Best advice–your primary ministry is to be a wife and mother.
What wonderful books, I believe I want to put on my list to pick up. Thank you so much for your heart for sharing and caring
The best advice I have ever received about being a pastor’s wife came from a church member before my family and I moved to the church. He asked me if I had any questions for him or the church. I replied, Just one, what is your expectations of the pastor’s wife?” He answered, “We expect our pastor’s wife to love our pastor.” I liked it then, I like it even more now!
As a Pastor’s wife for over 10 years the best advice I received is
** be your husband’s number one fan
**Be approachable,friendly and kind, someone is always watching your walk
**you must be transparent, you can’t minister when you never been through anything
this came from a fellow pw ” give myself grace” for the mistakes I make. I’m no different than anyone else, who needs God’s love and grace daily.
The best advice I’ve received as a Pastor’s Wife is to love the people. In ministry we will meet new people and reconnect with ones we once knew that are returning to seek answers. Some will support us and some won’t and this is where love comes in. No matter who leaves, stays, or hurts us we must continue to give love. Love the people!
The best advice was to simply forgive.
Be yourself!
I might be too late but it’s still Monday in my time zone (PST). The most common advice I received was in Bible College. We were told many times to not have best friends in your church rather the friends you made in college who were out in ministry should be your best friends/confidants. Along that line, we were advised to be careful what you shared with people in your church. That has proven to be very true. I’ve loved reading all of the comments on this post.
Another bit of advice, keep your eyes on Christ not on people because they will fail you every time. I’ve always told my kids this. It is so true! I’m so glad that we can trust Him!
Last bit of advice I’ve learned is to make your home a haven for your family particularly your pastor husband. My husband has thanked me many times for accomplishing this.
I just saw your post in the Women Leading Women group. What a beautiful website and a beautiful mission. I just had to share it with a friend. Blessings!!