The catch phrase for today is:
Play hard. Maximize your time off.
It’s Monday as I type this {I’m working ahead-yay!}. In this pastor’s home, we call Monday “Funday” because it’s my husband’s day off. We work hard the rest of the week and on this day we play hard.
It might sound strange, but it’s taken us some years in ministry to really learn how to maximize our time off. In the early days of ministry, my husband even felt guilty to take time off. But as our family has grown and we’ve gone through some heavy trials, we’ve realized the importance- the absolute necessity- to PLAY as hard as we work.
Every week our Funday looks different. Sometimes we need to get away and be out of reach and so we will get into the car and drive, drive, drive…always with a special destination in mind, of course. In the summer, we make a bucket list of the things we want to do during those months. Then we plan out our days off for a month in advance, and have something to look forward to every week. You probably wouldn’t believe how much we can cram into our day off. It’s rather insane. {But oh, so fun!} In the winter, our play time usually involves skating or spending cozy days at home reading or watching children’s movies together. Sometimes we get together with other pastors’ families and sometimes we know we need to be “just us.”
Today finds me at the library for the morning. I’m in introvert’s heaven while I read, study, and write. It was a bit of a hard decision to not spend every second of today with my husband. But we just came off a week of homeschooling and then a weekend where I had the kids while he took the teens to camp, so I was in desperate need of some alone time. {I’m sure that the children needed some Daddy time, too!} 🙂
Here’s the truth of it:
*My husband works between 50-70 hours a week, plus he is ‘on call’ 24/7. There’s this myth that pastors don’t work as hard as other professionals, and that they abuse their schedules to get more time off. Perhaps this happens sometimes, but I have yet to see it in our circles, both here in Canada and in the USA.
*Pastors typically only get one day off, as opposed to the two days off that most other vocations enjoy. Sunday is not a day off for the pastor’s family {more on that later}. So when Monday {Funday} comes, it’s time to play, play, play! I usually ask my husband what he wants to do, since I know it is the only day he gets to relax. He says that his day off goes by so quickly, so I want to make sure we do something that will re-fuel and energize him. He, of course, wants to make sure it is fun for the whole family. So in the end, everyone wins.
If you’re in ministry, work hard. Then play hard. It will help you stay afloat when the storms come. And yes, people will criticize what you do with your time off. Let them.
You will never regret play time spent with your family.
So, play hard. Maximize your time off.
“And he said, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest awhile: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.” Mark 6:31
Let’s Chat: How do you maximize your time off? What kinds of play do you enjoy doing with your family? Do you find it hard to unwind from ministry and enjoy play time? As always, I love to hear your thoughts!
Enjoyed the article and it’s so true…
I promise I won’t comment on every devotion you share but we are not there yet as far as a “Funday”. I work as secretary at another church down the road so I work on Mondays. My husband is the only staff member right now and we also are working with the youth on Wed nights. He has to prepare a SS lesson and 2 Sun sermons and a Wed night sermon for the teens along with teen outings once a month. We have no one else able to work with the youth so this is where we are right now. Monday is officially his “day off” but he works most of the day. I’m exhausted Mondays after work so there’s no time for a “Funday” for us right now. It’s been somewhat discouraging because we don’t really get a weekend either. He’s usually studying and reviewing over the weekend. I know it won’t always be this way and he is new in being a pastor so we’re trusting the Lord to intervene in His timing.
Terri, my name is Laurie, I’m a Pastors wife in CA. I will pray for you on this. That is hard, especially when there are busy seasons in ministry. I love the verse that says, Mar 6:31 And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.
I have felt like that so much, so busy we don’t even get to eat lol. When my husband first became pastor, after the pastor resigned. We too had no help with youth and we were determined to not let them get pushed under the rug. So now he was the choir director, youth pastor, pastor, maintenance guy etc. We worked so hard, unfortunately at the cost of our health, family and even our church family. God had to hit us on the head and say, stop…….. rest……. refresh……. its ok…… through that growing period (more like the raking over the coals) God began to show us our pride, our business, our lack of inviting Him to be the center of it all. In other words we were doing ministry, but not with God. We were burnt out, worn out etc. Oh yes, we had Bible devo’s every night with our kids, prayer time, good ministries running, souls saved, baptisms were happening etc. But in the business of it all, we left God out. Monday’s is our Funday too, those became more and more like manual work days, not fun days. Now this might not be you, but it was us at one time and if we are not careful can be again.
We repented, stepped back and gave God the reigns again. My husband cleared the church calendar and asked God to fill it. What was so surprising is that ministry still moved forward, souls were still saved, hearts changed, our church even began to grow. The best part, we got refreshed and so did our church family and more importantly our family!!!! Those teens I mentioned, well they have all graduated high school this year and all 7 are going to college, best part…. 4 are in Bible College!!!! Praise the Lord. Now this is something we have had to balance, reset, re-balance and continue to rely on the Lord for. My kids understand busy seasons, and they look forward to family seasons.
Two quotes that really helped us….
If you don’t come apart, you will fall apart! ~Paul Chappell
Your family is your greatest ministry, if you gain the whole world for Christ, but lose them…. you have lost!!!
I’m praying for you sweet sister, don’t lose heart. I hope you understand, I was just sharing what God did for us. As I have shared this very transparent testimony with my sisters in Christ, I have found, they too have had similar stories. So yours may not be quite like mine, but i pray it will bless you anyways.
Thanks Leah for this refreshing post!!!
Laurie
Isaiah 41:9-10
Laurie, we too have learned this the hard way. In our first ministry we felt like we had to do everything if it was going to get done. Hindsight, we realize that we just drove ourselves to burn out. Sometimes it’s ok for something to not get done {for ministries to have a rest}. Now we are very careful about saying yes to everything that needs to be done, and are a bit better at delegating or thinking of someone who could fill that spot. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and perspective with all of us. You’ve been an encouragement!
Terri,
you could be describing our life. It is not easy when there is no help, my husband I wear many hats. I know the feeling the exhausted. I am reading a devotional that i enjoy in the morning, It is different from other things i am studying for- sunday school teaching, preparing devotions to give. This is just for me and I am enjoying it.
Paula, we’ve definitely been in positions where there is no help and we’ve taken on too much. It’s really hard! I guess I’ve come to realize that at least while my children are small, it’s just not worth it to overload myself. I’ve learned it the hard way for sure! It’s great that you have some reading that is not church related to refresh you. (hug)
Terri, I do understand the season you are referring to. We have Mondays where my husband works as well. And of course he’s always on call so Mondays are no exception. That’s why we try to go out of town when we have a chance to. Has your husband considered taking half days instead of a whole day? We have tried that in some busier seasons of ministry and have taken a half day on one day and another half on a different day. The main thing is to find some time and then guard it as your family time. Our children are small, so we do need to take time to be with them. Maybe when they have left the nest our time off will look different. In fact, I’m quite sure that it will. (hugs) I know you are doing your best, and God will bless you for that!
So very true!! Loved Laurie’s comments above. Ministry is rewarding and draining and if we don’t come apart we will fall apart. My hubby and I have always set aside date time but now that he is a pastor we set Monday aside. Since our kids are older it isn’t necessarily a “Funday” but it is our time. We usually spend it doing our shopping for the week and eating lunch out but it is time alone (most of the time). Sometimes we have to squeeze in a hospital visit since our shopping is in town where the main hospitals are.
Thanks for another great and needy post my friend!
Yes, I am sure that our day off will look different when our children are older. And when we lived on the island, we did hospital visits during pleasure trips too since the hospital was an hour away.
Thanks for your wisdom and encouragement!
Beside being in the ministry, we also work to supplement our income. We work togeather at that job thru the school bus system. We try to take the evening to sit and watch old tv shows on hula, go out for supper. Our most relaxing thing we do is to take a few days and pack a auitcase and just travel parts of the state with no time schedule or destination, just drive talk explore. Having no schedule and getting away from phone is most relaxing. My husband feels guility for taking time for himself. But he is realizing he needs to take time apart. Hunting and hiking is something he can do by himself and he comes back relaxed
Some great ideas there, Paula! Love the packing a suitcase part and no time schedule part! 🙂
I can relate somewhat to your days off with your husband. Although we are not in ministry, my husband is always busy. He owns his own business, takes care of me sine I am ill, runs my errands (groceries, bills, takes me to the dr), plus tries to care for the house. We have let the house slide as he often comes home so late and then needs to cook dinner. When I actually feel well enough to get out of the house (which is rare) and he has a free day, our phones get turned off and we have to be very strategic in our choice of places to go. Now that I require the wheelchair again, i am limited in my locations. However, my husband is very gracoius wirh his time and lets me choose whether we go to a fabric store, Target, or a fabric store (haha). I actually need a trip to Ikea.
So you have to take time and get out when your body will let you, eh? Sounds like you have a very supportive and helpful husband, though!! What a blessing for you. I hear you with the fabric store and IKEA- those would be my choices, too! 🙂
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