(Note: I {sadly} realize that there are situations in our world where moms do not make right choices for their children. This post is meant to be read in a general sense.)

She was the waitress who brought our heaping plates of Chinese cuisine in the little seaside restaurant. Our family and another family were enjoying our last meal together before we headed home after a little excursion to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.

My friend and I turned our conversation again to child rearing, and eventually our hearts were open, admitting the things that moms are often afraid to voice for fear of judgment and criticism from other moms.

For some reason, we all think our kids behave worse than other kids behave.

We think our kids are the only ones who yell in stores or gawk at strangers.

We convince ourselves that our children are the only ones who have ever tried to bite and scratch or hit and pinch.

We are sure that we have the only whiners born to mankind, the only toddlers who utter “no” when displeased.

We guess that only our children ask for food every 15 seconds, all the day long, and then don’t want to eat what we have so carefully prepared.

We decide that our kids are the only ones who scribble the walls and squabble with their siblings.

We think our kids are the only ones who get hurt when they’re disobeying or lie to get out of trouble.

We are certain that ours are the only cherubs who forget their manners when it matters most and break things that they shouldn’t have been touching in the first place.

But the truth?

All kids are the same. Human.

{And any mom who tries to make you think that her kids are better than yours is not being truthful or kind. And the one who tries to make you feel like your kids are better than hers? She needs to be reminded about the ‘human’ thing, too.}

Which is why I ended up saying something I’ve never said to someone before.

Our waitress returned to clear our table and did a double take. Our children were lined up angelically in front of the fireplace- a 4, 5, 7, and 11 year old being {surprisingly} as good as gold.

She exclaimed, “Your kids are being so good, I almost didn’t even see them!”

And then she proceeded to tell us about her kids- roughly the same ages as some of our kids, with a 2 year old in the mix. She immediately opened up about her struggles with teaching them how to get along and how she wonders if she’s doing it right. And the fact that she was waitressing told us that she was a working mom, making her mothering job even harder.

We talked for a few minutes and she gave us the bill for our meal; and she disappeared into the kitchen. My friend and I stared at each other in amazement. What the waitress had said…was exactly what we had just been talking about when she walked into the room.

There it was again- another mom who felt like she didn’t measure up.

I felt prompted by God to do something I’ve never done before. Say something daring, hopefully deeply encouraging to this sweet, young mom.

We gathered to leave the restaurant, and I leaned over the counter to thank our waitress.

She turned to look at me, and I said softly,

“You’re a good mom.”

She looked surprised, then incredibly happy. I hoped that those four short words communicated more than I had time to say, yet all of the things that moms would say to each other if we really admitted that we have the same basic struggles. It’s the truth that, for the most part, we are all good moms. {Yes, you too!} Shake off the chains of perfect expectations, and hear{t} these words.

Since that day in the restaurant, I’ve been looking for opportunities to tell perfect strangers “You’re a good mom.”  Tell that mom with the squawking toddler. Whisper it to the weary mom trying to shop with  her brood of four little ones in tow. Ease the embarrassment. Encourage the fainting heart. Let her know that she is normal. That her offspring are normal. Watch how God opens doors to share the Gospel and build relationships!

“You’re a good mom.” These are the four words that every mom needs to hear{t}.

I’m saying it to you right now. Who can you say it to?

You might be surprised at the difference that it makes! Are you in? Let’s give each other the same grace that we desire and watch God use it to open doors to new relationships!

“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”

Proverbs 15:23