I remember being shocked the first time I saw it. Not because I was naive, but because it was coming “home” to my sphere of influence.
“My married pastor flirts with me. What should I do?”
That search term in my website dashboard sent chills through me. And over the course of the past year, similar search terms have showed up, to the point of currently being almost daily.
“I think my pastor is in love with me.”
“My pastor really likes me- is this ok?”
“My married pastor made a pass at me.”
“I feel awkward around my pastor. I think he is interested in me.”
“Is it ok to be in a relationship with your pastor?”
“I feel like my pastor wants to date me, but he is married. What should I do?”
The first emotion I feel when I read these things is outrage. I think to myself, “Pastors, what are you thinking?!” and my second thought is “Where are the pastors’ wives when this is going on?” When sensibility returns, I realize that all the time, all over our world, morality is falling by the wayside.
Suddenly things that were ordained by God to be sacred are anybody’s right, anybody’s property.
It’s ok to allow a relationship with someone in your church while being married. It’s not a big deal to encourage an emotional attraction where there ought not to be one. It seems far away and impossible that respect would ever be lost, and satan once again convinces a ministry man to compromise his morality, thinking {somehow} that he will be the one who doesn’t get caught.
And yet we all know the stories. Too well.
It’s happened to that pastor we respected. That deacon who seemed like such a Godly role model. That father who served in the church but led a double life. That long time pastor who was hiding his lifestyle of homosexuality. That man of God who committed suicide because he couldn’t live with his double life one minute longer.
Moral purity is absolutely crucial. If you give it up, you lose it all. Guard it with everything in you…through the power of Christ.
If you just guard it with everything in you, you will fail.
You will be the cause of these search terms coming from confused women who want to believe that there is more integrity in their pastors than you are portraying.
Do what it takes. Set up boundaries. Confront if need be. Ask God to make you a man of Godly wisdom and perception.
Men of God, please receive this in the love and grace with which it was meant. I in no way want to rant on this issue, and I do realize that it is often a double sided issue {more on that ‘other side’ coming soon}. It’s just that so many dearly love you and want you to succeed. They want to see God’s blessing on your life, and they want to see a Godly heritage flowing through you to future generations. Don’t be the one to break that beautiful thing that God is crafting with your life.
Please, please take this message to heart:
Mrs. Leah, Thank you so much for this reminder. I have seen dear friends fall in this manner and it has broken my heart. We so much need our men of God to truly be moral examples and leaders. God bless you!
Alicemarie Johnson
Yes, it is heartbreaking. And Satan works hard on men of God.
Thank you for your encouragement!
I am not sure that we women are always reading the signals correctly. We are so good at making up stories in our minds and hearts. I would like to give the men of God the benefit of the doubt. Could it be that they are treating us as Christ treated those He came in contact with? with care and concern? And we are making it something it is not?